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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29709132">Solitude: Alone, Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CptScarlett/pseuds/CptScarlett'>CptScarlett</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elder Scrolls Online</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clockwork City (Elder Scrolls), F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:33:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29709132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CptScarlett/pseuds/CptScarlett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She's known as the Vestige to some, Champion to others, but by now, Selea Arcillius would prefer to hideway and be unknown. She's tired, and looking for an escape, so she goes to a place that holds mystery and possibility, and to the 'man' who holds equal mystery and possibility--Clockwork City and Sotha Sil.</p><p>This story picks up just after the Summerset/Artaeum questline.</p><p>NOTICE: If you haven't played through the Clockwork City and Summerset/Artaeum questlines, this will hold some spoilers! You've been warned! While I haven't played Morrowind, it does allude to the fate dictated for Sotha Sil in that game. But this is fanfiction, and is going to do what fanfic does best - change the story! :)</p><p>(A special thank you to 'bottled green' over on FF.net who wrote "Dovah-Fly and the Flame," which became part of the inspiration to write this story of my own.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sotha Sil/Female Vestige, Sotha Sil/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Selea Arcillius took a few steps out of the Ceporah Tower and took a deep breath. Sotha Sil was gone, back to Clockwork City she supposed. It was his departure that seemed to stir up the pot that was her current emotional state.</p><p>As she began to wander the beautiful island of Artaeum, her mind wandered. She was feeling quite nostalgic as she considered all the friends she’d gained, and so many that she’d also lost. For a brief moment, she wondered exactly how the god-mer fit into that picture. She sighed as she sat down on the very rock that her dear friend Darien Gautier—the Golden Knight—had sat on just days before. Another friend lost. She thought further back to Verandis Ravenwatch—another one gone. And then there was Varen Aquilarios—the man who was somewhat responsible for her rebirth—whom she eventually came to call ‘friend’ as well.</p><p>She felt tired, and altogether not interested in going on another adventure. Was it selfish of her to not want to have to save anyone else? For now at least? Deep down she realized who she really needed to save. Herself. She’d been running away from herself ever since she woke up in Coldharbour, since the Prophet brought her back to Nirn, essentially reestablishing her as a living being without a soul. And she continued to run even after Meridia gave her her soul back.</p><p>Where could she go that she wouldn’t be disturbed, wouldn’t be asked to save the world again? Where could she be alone with her thoughts to decide what she wanted to do next?</p><p>Artaeum was beautiful, and she was fairly certain that if she wanted to, she could have studied with the Psijics. They seemed rather impressed with her skills as a mage, though her tendency to use them for battle seemed less than preferred. She appreciated their generally private lifestyle, but Artaeum was too connected to her most recent victory—and her most recent loss. She quickly arose from the rock she’d been sitting on. The rock where Darien had sat. It would do her no good to stay in Artaeum because she knew her thoughts would go back to the man who she had *almost* considered pursuing a relationship with.</p><p>Then, she heard Sotha Sil’s voice in her head.</p><p>
  <em>The Prisoner wields great power…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Prisoner must apprehend two critical insights. First, they must face the reality of their imprisonment. They must see the determinative walls - the chains of causality that bind them to their course.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Prisoner must see the door to their cell. They must gaze through the bars and perceive that which exists beyond causality. Beyond time. Only then can they escape.</em>
</p><p>She sighed. His mysterious words still confounded her, but in a small way she felt she understood. She felt trapped on Nirn. Perhaps it as because of her connection with Coldharbour, all her interactions with the Daedric world. Perhaps it was because there seemed to be nowhere to turn that people hadn’t heard of her exploits. It was her own fault—but once she’d defeated Molag Bal, she felt… driven… to continue helping, continuing saving people, continue fighting evil.</p><p>She wanted to escape the prison. She wanted to take herself out of the equation, to exist beyond causality. Was that possible? An idea began forming in her head and she stood and began walking to the nearest wayshrine. She may not be able to totally escape being a part of causality, but she could hide herself away and perhaps not be a part of the equation for a while. It was time to head to Mournhold.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t take long for Selea to find the hidden cave in Mournhold, nor did it take her long to find herself standing at the doorstep of the great Brass Fortress. She took a deep breath and stepped back inside, hoping soon to find—</p><p>“By the gears, is that really you? Selea Arcillius?”</p><p>Selea spun around, a wide smile on her face. “Luciana!” She approached quickly and the two awkwardly hugged.</p><p>“What are you doing here? I didn’t imagine I’d ever see you again.”</p><p>Selea looked around. “I needed to get away. A hidden city seemed like a good bet. And one where I feel fairly confident that people could care less what I’ve been doing outside the city.” She then looked up at the tower looming overhead. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance I could get an audience with Lord Seht, is there?”</p><p>“He doesn’t take visitors often.”</p><p>“I’ve seen him recently—in Artaeum.”</p><p>“Artaeum? You really do get around to hidden mysterious cities, don’t you?”</p><p>“You have no idea.” She glanced up at the tower again. “I’m sure in all his ‘all-knowingness’ he probably already knows I’m here. But do you think that if you see him or are sending messages through to him—could you tell him… tell him the Prisoner has returned and has found her own hidden door.”</p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p>“Just tell him that. He should understand. If it bothers you, you can just tell him that Selea Arcillius has returned to Clockwork City and seeks an audience with Lord Sotha Sil.”</p><p>Luciana observed her quietly a moment. Selea could tell the other woman was trying to understand exactly what she was up to. “Very well. I’ll do my best to deliver your message. How long do you plan on staying?”</p><p>“As long as I’m welcome. Do I still hold my citizenship status?”</p><p>“Absolutely. You did, after all, save Lord Seht himself.”</p><p>Selea put a finger to her lips. “Ssh, don’t say that too loudly. I’m trying to get away from the hero life for a while, not run towards it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Citizen, your presence is requested at the Elegiac Replication by our Lord Sotha Sil.”</p><p>Selea still got a little twitch when one of the factotum approached and spoke to her—she’d dealt with too many dangerous ones in the under city in her previous visits. Still, though, she quickly brushed it off with the news it had brought. “Thank you. I will go there now.”</p><p>“Thank you. Have a good day.”</p><p>She quickly made it out of the fortress and back to the last place she’d seen Sotha Sil in the City on her last visit. It had been a rather remarkable conversation, and one that was embedded in her memory. She’d learned so much about him in this garden.</p><p>As she approached, just as he had before, he stood with his back to her as he observed the gardens in front of him. He spoke as she got closer.</p><p>“I sensed your presence the moment you stepped back into the City.” Well, there was the answer to that question. She wondered if Luciana had mentioned it, if he’d sensed it, or just felt it was information worthy to share without any prior knowledge of her own thoughts. “It was your message that intrigued me enough to pull me from my work. I thought this location may be of comfort to you, since you seemed to enjoy it on your last visit.”</p><p>“Thank you, Lord Seht, for taking my message and meeting with me.”</p><p>“I believe we came to an understanding the last time we spoke here. As I explained then—I am not a god. You have no need to refer to me by such titles.”</p><p>“It would feel a bit traitorous to call you anything else, particularly in front of your apostles or other citizens.”</p><p>“Yet here we are, alone,” he said with a wave of his mechanical hands and a slight smile.</p><p>“Yes, here we are,” she said and mirrored his smile. She’d felt nervous the whole walk here, but his company seemed to calm her instead of worsen the anxiety. She did still feel a bit awkward, but pushed to move beyond that and held her hands behind her back as she examined the tall mer. “What would you prefer to be called?”</p><p>He gave no time to the question before responding with one of his own, “What would you prefer to call me?”</p><p>“Well, if my knowledge of mer tradition is correct, Sil is your given name, and Sotha is your family name. Is that correct?”</p><p>“That is a correct approximation, yes.”</p><p>“So… Sil?”</p><p>She noticed the slightest of curves at the corner of his lips. She had amused him in some way. Finally, he spoke his thoughts, or at least some of them, aloud. “It has been quite some time since I was addressed so informally. I do not find it displeasing.”</p><p>“Very well. But it may take some time to get used to—and if ever we are conversing amongst others, or I am referring to you in public, I intend to continue to refer to you more formally.”</p><p>“The Prisoner is firm in her beliefs. I couldn’t convince you otherwise, so why make an attempt?”</p><p>She raised her hand and shook her finger at him. “Oh no, if I am going to call you Sil, then you will refer to me by my own given name as well. It’s only fair.”</p><p>“Life is not always fair. That is a certainty that I am sure you are cognizant of.”</p><p>Her hands went to her hips. “Are you refusing to call me by my name?”</p><p>“No,” he stated simply, and the smile on his face indicated she’d amused him again. “Only stating a truth.”</p><p>She nodded her head triumphantly and he interlaced his metal fingers in front of him, as he often did. “Since we have dispensed of the formalities—Selea—what is this door you referred to in your mysterious message sent via my proctor?”</p><p>His use of her given name pleased her more than she expected. But she had a request to make, and it made her nervousness rise again. She took a deep breath and eyed the incredibly tall elf. “May I speak honestly, Sil?”</p><p>“With certainty. I would expect nothing less from you.”</p><p>“Good. I thought so.” She began pacing as she talked through her idea. “I find myself growing weary. This last venture—overcoming yet another Daedric threat to our existence… it’s finally pushed me over the edge, as it were. I’ve been stretched thin and feel I’m at a breaking point. And it’s no fault but my own.” She paused to gather her thoughts back together and Sil spoke up.</p><p>“Selflessness, while admirable, can also lead to one’s downfall.”</p><p>She nodded in agreement. “I think you were trying to tell me that the last time I was here. When you asked what you could give me in return for all I had done for your City, for you. I asked for you to save Luciana.”</p><p>“And now I make a correlation. Have you come to ask something else of me? What else could I offer that would aide you in this time? I am not opposed to the suggestion—within reason. What do you seek, Selea Arcillius?”</p><p>“I’ve been thinking a great deal about the conversation we had the last time I was here—about me being the Prisoner.” She paused, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “I seek refuge.”</p><p>“You are always welcome in Clockwork City.”</p><p>She nodded, then grew more unsure of herself. “I’d like to take up… longterm… residence. I’m sure I can make myself a valuable member of Clockwork society.”</p><p>“You have gone through all necessary protocol to be a citizen, I am also certain of your value—to the city, and to me.”</p><p>She was taken aback by his personal statement. It only made her more nervous as she continued. “I have no idea for how long I will stay. And while I was fairly certain my being here wouldn’t be a problem, it’s the next bit that is really more my request.”</p><p>“You have no need to stumble over your words with me, Selea. You know your own mind, speak it,” Sil said, giving her a firm nod.</p><p>She sighed, then steeled herself. “Can you ensure that word of my presence here does not reach the outside world?”</p><p>“To what extent?”</p><p>She frowned. “Honestly? I’m unsure.”</p><p>“Perhaps an understanding of the motivation behind your request would assist in determining the course that needs to be taken.”</p><p>“I grow tired of the requests for help.” She lowered her head. “I feel guilty for saying that out loud.”</p><p>She was startled by the metal finger that tilted her chin back up. “I believe you and I are alike in many ways, Selea.”</p><p>“Me? Like you?”</p><p>“You wish to be free of a responsibility that you didn’t ask for, yet feel tied to. You feel guilty, but you should not, because you did not ask for the responsibility that was thrust upon you when the Worm thrust the dagger through your heart.”</p><p>She stared at him and he slowly pulling his finger away from her chin before she spoke, “Y-yes. That—that is it.”</p><p>“Selea Arcillius,” Sotha Sil spoke her name as he straightened himself to his full height and placed his hands behind his waist. “Yes, I will aide you in your attempt for a quiet existence in my city, for as long as you see fit. Very little communication leaves Clockwork City, but we will ensure that if and when it does, nothing regarding your presence here is included. Is that satisfactory?”</p><p>She smiled. “It is. I am staying in temporary quarters for now. I will begin looking for something more long term. I wanted to speak to you before I did so.”</p><p>“I am… glad… you have returned to my city, Selea. I find, yet again, that I do not dislike our conversation."</p><p>“As do I, Sil. I am sure, however, that you have plenty of work to keep you busy. I also remember you saying in the same breath that you do not like distractions from your work, so I will do my best not to be a disruption.”</p><p>“I believe we will speak sooner than you might imagine, Selea. Until then, please enjoy your time in Clockwork City. I hope you find it refreshing for your spirit, and invigorating for your mind. Around every turn there are opportunities for creative work. Perhaps you will find something that suits you.”</p><p>“I intend to.”</p><p>“Until next time, Selea.”</p><p>“Until next time, Sil.”</p><p>With that, he disappeared into glowing embers that, just as the first time, she found magical. She smiled and turned to make her way back to the Brass Fortress, intent on finding some sort of home that would suit her long-term needs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following day Selea frowned as she plopped back down in the seat in her tiny temporary housing room. She’d found a few places that <em>could</em> serve as long-term housing, but nothing that she felt met her needs. She wanted room to create, to build—that was, after all, part of what life in the Clockwork City meant, right? She was relatively good at crafting, as she’d learned every trade possible in her life on Nirn. But here in the Clockwork City, she wanted to learn more, she wanted to tinker with some of the machinery like Sil… <em>like Sil</em>… she repeated to herself.</p><p>Oddly, she thought, throughout the day she’d found herself thinking of Sotha Sil, the not-quite-god-elf that she seemed to have become friends with. God or no god, he obviously had some god-like abilities, and was certainly as mysterious as a god in the way he spoke at times. Yet after their informal conversation the day before, she now found herself wondering what Sil would think of the places she looked at. She was certain he’d feel just as she did, that none of them satisfactory.</p><p>She flipped through the notes she’d taken for each of the properties she’d looked at that day, remaining unsatisfied. That is—until she heard a tapping sound at the window. She frowned and glanced up to see a crow and for a split second she felt dread at the thought that Nocturnal might have somehow found her way back into the City. But as quickly as the thought had entered her mind it left as she realized this crow wasn’t black and feathery, but brass and smooth, except for lines etched into it made to look like feathers. She chuckled and found a way to open the window.</p><p>“What, pray tell, is a brass bird doing at my window?”</p><p><em>SQUAK!</em> It shouted. “Our lord and creator Sotha Sil requests your presence at the Observatory Prior.”</p><p>“Pardon me?”</p><p>“Repeating message. Our lord and creator Sotha Sil requests your presence at the Observatory Prior.”</p><p>“I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with that location.”</p><p>SQUAK! “I am able to guide you to the Observatory Prior.” SQUAK!</p><p>“Very well. I will meet you outside.”</p><p>SQUAK! And the bird flew downward towards the entrance of the Housing building.</p><p>When she arrived downstairs and looked around, she jumped as the bird swooped down and landed on her shoulder. “Perhaps some warning would be nice before you swoop in. It wasn’t that long ago I was being pecked at by your feathered friends.”</p><p>SQUAK! It said as it nodded its head around. She was unsure if it was acknowledging her, or if it was just part of it’s mechanical attempt to appear lifelike.</p><p>She shook her head and motioned ahead. “Well, lead on.”</p><p>She followed the crow all the way out to the Sanctuary Wayshrine and beyond. When they arrived at the huge structure ahead of them, she looked around.</p><p>“What is this place?”</p><p>“The Observatory Prior.” SQUAK! Was all the crow said.</p><p>“I assumed as such since you stopped flying. But tell me about it.”</p><p>SQUAK! The crow shouted again.</p><p>Before she could argue, another voice spoke from behind her.</p><p>“The Observatory Prior was a bit of a test before final construction on the Brass Fortress was undertaken. It is still in quite satisfactory condition, though unused. I thought perhaps you would like to see another part of the city since you’ll be staying here for an undetermined length of time.”</p><p>She turned to find Sotha Sil behind her, hands behind his back as was common for him. She nodded towards the crow on her shoulder. “And the bird?”</p><p>“I thought perhaps he might be a more adequate form of communication device, should you need to contact me—or visa versa—instead of the use of my Proctor or the other apostles or factotums.”</p><p>“You made it last night?”</p><p>“I suppose it was evening when we last spoke—was it one cycle? I do not pay heed to cycles of time when I am working.”</p><p>“But you only just made it—after our conversation. Specifically to communicate with me?”</p><p>“Do you find it unsatisfactory?”</p><p>“No, I’m just—surprised. Pleasantly surprised.”</p><p>“Good, because it is yours.”</p><p>“Mine? It will stay with me? Does that mean I can name it?”</p><p>“Yes, it is yours, it will stay with you, unless you command it to do otherwise. Though it does have built in protocols to protect, guard, provide information, and as previously mentioned—provide a means of communication between you and I. You have full authorization to change programming as you see fit, but I would ask you to keep the basic programming intact since that was the original intent of the gift.”</p><p>She pondered a moment that she was being given a gift by Sotha Sil. “Very well. I shall name it Duke. In honor of one of the feathered friends who ended up defecting from Nocturnal and aiding us in our battle to save you and Clockwork City.”</p><p>“Very well.”</p><p>“So, you just wanted to show me this place?”</p><p>“Come inside. As with all things—in time, all will reveal itself. This is no different.” He motioned her towards the door and she followed.</p><p>She had no idea how much time had past but they had walked around the whole site. Several levels, an amazing observatory area with a beautiful view. “This place is incredible, so much space—I can’t believe you aren’t using it for something.”</p><p>“I believe it would be a rather adequate space for a someone to set up an extensive workshop and laboratory. Room to create, explore, discover. Room to rest and recover. Perhaps regain some of the identity they held before such great responsibility was thrust on them.”</p><p>They’d found themselves in the observatory and she’d been gazing out at the sky and the giant wheels and cogs that rotated there. It reminded her that they were inside a much larger housing structure that had appeared small when she entered the cave in Mournhold. At his last words realization struck her. “Me? You think I—I should live here?”</p><p>“Is it not adequate?”</p><p>“Adequate? It’s—it’s more than adequate, Sil. It’s huge…it’s beautiful… it’s… I mean… there’s no way I could afford this place.”</p><p>She immediately noticed the smirk peaking at the corner of his mouth. “You believe I would bring you here and then ask you to pay to purchase it? No. It is yours.”</p><p>“What? You—You’re giving it to me? I can’t accept that!”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“A tiny brass crow, yes. But this gigantic observatory? As my home? It’s too much!”</p><p>“And what measure are you using to determine your value, or the appropriate value of the gift given to you by one you have saved? If it makes you feel better, consider this a gift from all the people of Tamriel whom you have repeatedly saved. And equal to their ignorance of being saved, they are ignorant as to the gift they are giving you now. Though, to be clear, it is mine to give. And only yours to receive. Should you choose not to accept, it will remain unoccupied and empty. I have already programmed the door to only accept entrance from you and anyone you approve.”</p><p>She gasped and looked around. “I—I—” then with a deep breath, she relented and smiled wide. “Very well, I shall call the Observatory Prior home.”</p><p>He gave a slight bow as he nodded. “Very good.”</p><p>“It will take some time to have supplies and furniture delivered. I’ll get a few room rooms furnished to make it livable and then add on as I can from there—”</p><p>“If I may inquire—were you imagining how you would furnish the rooms as we walked through them.”</p><p>She blushed. “I was. It’s hard not to dream when faced with such an amazing blank slate.”</p><p>“Then—if I may—you need only to open that part of your mind to me…”</p><p>She cocked her head to the side in momentary confusion, but shrugged and instinctively closed her eyes as she opened her mind. The thought crossed through her mind that she was putting a lot of trust into Sotha Sil, but she found herself completely comfortable doing so.</p><p>“That is adequate,” he said a few moments later.</p><p>She opened her eyes and gasped again. This time it was to find the observatory room furnished just as she’d imagined, with a desk in the center, surrounded by clockwork spools full of information and other worktables surrounding the room. She grinned at Sil before running out of the room and spinning around.</p><p>“Everything? You did everything? It’s all here?”</p><p>“Everything you imagined,  yes.”</p><p>She came back over to him and smiled again. “If that’s the case—how do you feel about Roasted Chicken and Potatoes?”</p><p>Sil’s unmasked eyebrow raised. “I have no particular feelings about food in general. I require very little sustenance for survival.”</p><p>The excitement on her face dropped. “Oh. I see. Alright then. Well, thank you again for such a wonderful home. I assume you’ll fizzle away like normal. I’m just going to go explore the rooms again with all the furnishings.”  She turned and walked away, hoping to hide any further signs of emotion from the rather emotionless being before her.</p><p>“Selea?” he called out.</p><p>She kept walking.</p><p>“Selea,” he said again, this time appearing right in front of her, causing her to come to a quick halt. “Your question about foul and root vegetables was not because you wanted to know my feelings on that particular food. You were attempting to invite me to participate in a mealtime ritual with you.”</p><p>“In a manner of speaking, and in much fewer words—yes.”</p><p>Even though her eyes were to the ground in front of her, afraid to look up at him out of embarrassment and fear of revealing hurt behind her eyes, she she saw his shoulders sag ever so slightly. “It is a common custom when one becomes the resident of a new location—to have… friends… over for a mealtime ritual.”</p><p>She remained silent.</p><p>“I do not know if I would be adequate or entertaining company, Selea. I am a being of few words and those I do use are typically not appealing for the kind of casual conversation that is usually integral for such rituals. I have told you before, I bear the weight of certainties. I speak with an honesty that tends to cause bruised egos and hurt feelings. I cannot afford such luxuries. I would not serve as a very good friend. Surely you would prefer to have Luciana here for your meal. I can see to it that she is made aware of the invitation—”</p><p>“No. That will not be necessary,” she said as she turned away again, walking towards a desk at the opposite side.</p><p>“As I said… hurt feelings.”</p><p>Her back stayed turned as she replied. “If I feel hurt, it is for you, not me.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence before he spoke. “Explain.”</p><p>She turned around, more confident of herself. “I find it sad that in your experience, isolating yourself is the only answer to the discomfort some might find in your presence. But it is only some, not all, Sotha Sil. I do not find your manner of speech, your certainties and honesty, to be inadequate or lacking in value. To put it in your words, Sil, ‘I would not dislike it if we spoke again.’ I enjoy talking with you and being in your company. I understand that I am a distraction from your work, and that your work is of utmost importance. You have already given up more of your valuable time than I ever anticipated. So go.” She paused, and he didn’t respond.</p><p> She continued. “I came to Clockwork City in search of tranquility and solitude. But I think I’ve just realized, that solitude doesn’t have to mean being alone. Perhaps it just means being in the presence of others who do not ask more or less of you than you are able or willing to give. No expectations, only the reality of who you are. Perhaps you were right, perhaps we are alike in many ways. We both seek to be free of the responsibility put on us by others and we both thought that would be found in isolation, in solitude. You hide away in your tower and tinker away, doing your ever important work. I run away to your city. Yet, here you are, Sil. When I sent word that I needed to speak to you, you not only left the fortress, you met me back in your sacred garden where you memorialize the people who you hold most dear. And then, you called <em>for me</em>. You created a gift for me during your precious work time so that we could communicate. You were thoughtful enough to consider my wishes, needs, and desires for coming to Clockwork City and presented me with a gift that met those wishes, needs, and desires. And you continued to go above and beyond and in a blink had it furnished to meet my wildest imagination. Sotha Sil, you have said that all of this exists because it must exist. That you stand here, in this place, in this moment, not because you wish to, but because you have to. A result of action and consequence.”</p><p>“But you reveal a flaw in your own logic, because you did not have to create Duke any more than you had to present me with the Observatory Prior. You were the one to take the action, Sil, and now you are faced with the consequence. You extended a hand of friendship and I hardly believe you were doing so unintentionally.  My invitation to dinner was obviously unexpected, and if it is more than you can give, then I shall not ask a second time for you to give it. But do not feed me a line about being an inadequate friend, because you have already proved otherwise. That may be a satisfactory response for your apostles or those with some ulterior motive that you are attempting to walk away from while still maintaining decorum and serving the needs of the people. You have much to do, I’m sure. You may stay, or you may go. Whatever you believe is necessary or required of the moment. I believe I will go enjoy the view from my observatory for a while before dinner,” finally she finished and shut her mouth tight, unsure if she’d just made a terrible mistake.</p><p>“You have given me much to consider,” he said as she walked away.</p><p>“I’m sure I have,” she called out for him to hear as she continued back towards the observatory. She took a deep breath then. She couldn’t believe she’d just delivered that speech and walked away from <em>the</em> Sotha Sil. However, he had insisted he was not a god, and that she was to be informal with him. She meant what she had said, he’d extended some form of friendship to her, and he needn’t push her away at the first sign she was extending it back.</p><p>She stood near the outer edge of the observatory, looking out at the barren landscape ahead of her and the sky and outer shell beyond that. It wasn’t lost on her that she was standing much like Sil often did, hands clasped behind her back. She realized now that it wasn’t that uncomfortable. She felt pride in hearing his approach before he spoke. “Considering your rather eloquent speech, I concede that it has been a rather extended time since I ate, and that I should remedy that.”</p><p>“So, that’s your way of saying that you’ll have dinner with me tonight?”</p><p>“Indeed.” She nodded and after a moment of silence he continued. “I also concede that I perhaps, without even realizing it, began to include an additional factor in the equation that is my daily requirements.”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow in question. She <em>thought</em> she understood what he was saying, but also thought he was trying to avoid saying it.</p><p>He continued without her having to question it. “That factor being your presence in my personal reality.”</p><p>“Your personal reality?” she said slowly, in question.</p><p>“You, obviously, have been a part of reality as a whole since your birth. As tied to the chains of causality as all of us. It was, however, only in the more recent that your presence caused more significant affects on my own reality.”</p><p>“I saved you. That’s a pretty significant affect.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>She nodded and turned back towards the view, him doing the same.</p><p>It was a few more minutes of quiet before he spoke again. “I am intrigued by this new definition of the word solitude. To be in the same space as someone, yet without undue expectations set upon each other.”</p><p>“I suppose it is still something of a theoretical definition, a hypothesis at best. Any good theory requires trial and error to prove and determine it’s validity.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>“Shall we walk to the dining area?”</p><p>“I have no preference.”</p><p>“Then we shall.” She turned to walk and he stayed at her side as they walked to the dining room.</p><p>“You know I find it interesting that despite your insistence that formal names are not required, you programmed Duke to use such a formal title for you—’my lord and creator’?”</p><p>“The birds programming was set up using the same schema as the factotums. I did not take the time to customize it. I thought leaving such work for you might be an agreeable project as you look for creative ways of filling your time.”</p><p>“Now that I’m not killing evil daedra, pushing back Daedric Princes, and saving the world, one lost soul at a time, you mean?”</p><p>“An adequate approximation, I suppose.”</p><p>They entered the room and she waved him to one of the chairs at the table, seating herself at the other side. “You really did make it just as I had imagined. I can’t even begin to consider how that works. I know you say you aren’t a god, but you certainly have some god-like powers.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>“Care to elaborate on the breadth of those powers?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. “Very well.”</p><p>“It would require an extensive amount of time and complexity to explain in adequate detail.”</p><p>“For someone who says he is a man of few words, you certainly use a lot of them to answer questions and provide explanations.”</p><p>“When I speak, I choose to speak concisely, clearly—and always with certainty. If it requires more words, so be it, if it requires fewer, that is also acceptable.”</p><p>“I suppose you don’t enter into conversation with very many mortals.”</p><p>“I do not.”</p><p>“So then your statement about having few words is more about how often you use them, the total sum, than the sum of what you use when you do speak.”</p><p>“A wise estimation.”</p><p>Selea smiled as she ate the meal. It was exactly as she remembered from home. “I don’t think I could find the proper words to concisely or clearly thank you for the gift of this home and the furnishings within it, Sil. Not just because of the monetary value.”</p><p>“Please do not consider this as favor that requires compensation. If it provides some measure of satisfaction, consider it a part of the compensation already discussed.”</p><p>“For Tamriel.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Must I consider it compensation for something? <em>Can</em> it just be a gift?”</p><p>Sotha Sil watched her a moment as she ate her food while avoiding eye contact. “I have miscalculated the required motivation for receiving the Observatory. I estimated that it being compensation would be more satisfactory than a gift of no reason.”</p><p>She blushed, but was determined to speak honestly with him. “I rather like the idea of receiving a gift from you just because you knew it would be pleasing to me, Sil. If that makes you uncomfortable, we can move on from the subject. But the fact remains.”</p><p>“Very well.”</p><p>She sighed. “Sil, when we spoke in the gardens—the Elegiac Replication—before I left Clockwork City, you told me then that you are whatever the people need you to be. That you are a mirror. Nothing more. I find that <em>unsatisfactory</em>, as you put it. Before achieving this state of not-godhood, but yet god-like powers, you were born to parents, had a childhood—correct?”</p><p>“That is correct.”</p><p>“I have visited the Mnemonic Planisphere, Sil.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“It is not my place to question your decision to take away certain memories. I would assume, which I know is dangerous thing to do, that you felt it necessary in order to maintain order within your own mind so that you can properly serve the people of your City, and of all Tamriel for that matter.”</p><p>“Continue,” he said as he took small bites from the plate before him.</p><p>“I also assume that the removal of those memories is part of what gives you the… illness, as you called it… that you have. This disease of certainty. And that it is also what allows you to ‘be what the people need you to be, nothing more.’ As much as I perhaps suffer from altruism, so do you, Sil. We are both so concerned with others we look not to ourselves. But, as much as you can, within the limitations you have set for yourself, I wish for you to consider <em>yourself</em> when you choose to be in my presence. You have already revealed to me many of your feelings regarding your supposed godhood, and about Vivec and Amalexia. I appreciate that honesty. I wish you to continue to be so. I don’t want you to be who I need you to be. I want you to be who you need to be, for you—not for me, or for anyone else.”</p><p>“You do insist on challenging me, don’t you?”</p><p>“Indeed,” she said with a smile, echoing back his own frequent word use to her.</p><p>He glanced at his plate, then to her. “I must attend to other matters now, Selea. I will, as always, take into consideration your words. Thank you for including me in this mealtime ritual.”</p><p>“You can just call it dinner, Sil.”</p><p>“Ah, yes. Dinner. Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Good night. Till next time, whenever that may be.”</p><p>“Till next time,” he said with a nod before ‘fizzling’ away.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Selea found herself less and less inclined to keep track of time the longer she stayed in Clockwork City. She’d happily disappeared from life on Tamriel, leaving the saving to other heroes.</p><p>One day, as both Sotha Sil and Selea Arcillius sat in her workroom in the Observatory, tinkering on projects of their own design, she brought up something she’d been considering. “How long has it been since I returned to Clockwork City and began my life here? In mortal years, I mean?”</p><p>Sil considered her question a moment. “One hundred and twenty eight years by mortal standards of time measurement.”</p><p>She stopped what she was doing and looked up, staring out the window ahead of her. “I’m an Imperial, Sil. We’ve never discussed the fact that I don’t seem to age. Have you considered it?”</p><p>“I hadn’t given consideration to the thought, but in doing so now, I would conjecture that it has something to do with the events that led to your ending up in Coldharbour.”</p><p>She nodded. “That was my estimation as well. I wonder how long I will live?”</p><p>“We all wonder that.”</p><p>“Do you?”</p><p>Sil gave a slight shrug. “I ponder the end of my existence.”</p><p>“Do you see it?”</p><p>“There are many paths, one cannot precisely determine which one you’ll end up on.”</p><p>“Actions and consequences,” she stated.</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>“But you call others mortal. You’ve called <em>me</em> mortal. I assumed that meant you were not mortal.”</p><p>Sil let out a sigh. A rare occurrence. “I am closer to mortality now than ever before. And perhaps you are closer to immortal than my original calculations.”</p><p>“I never ask you what is occurring outside the walls of the City. I assume that if I needed to know, you would tell me.”</p><p>“All you need to know is that you are safe within these walls. I will continue to protect you and your presence here for as long as I can.”</p><p>“Thank you, Sil. Really. I never expected to be able to live this long here. I never expected I’d be alive this long, much less in peace.”</p><p>“Then I am continuing to succeed in my goal.”</p><p>They worked in silence for a bit longer before she pondered another question. “Where would you go, Sil? If you did become mortal again. If you had to leave the City.”</p><p>“Where would you go? If you had to leave the City?”</p><p>“I believe I would go back to Artaeum. It is beautiful there, in a different way than here. If not there, then perhaps Summerset.”</p><p>“Not back home, to Cyrodil?”</p><p>“Bah,” she scoffed. “If it’s anything now like it was then, I’ll stay away, thank you. Summerset felt more like home than anywhere… till I came here.”</p><p>“Intriguing that you feel more at home in lands largely occupied by mer than man.”</p><p>“Intriguing that I am also living out the lifespan more suited for a mer than man, wouldn’t you say?”</p><p>He nodded. “Artaeum is satisfactory. I shouldn’t mind being there. Summerset is equally satisfactory.”</p><p>“Not Morrowind?”</p><p>“I love my people, but I echo your sentiments about your own homeland.”</p><p>She smiled. “Is it coincidence that you find the places I would go to be satisfactory?”</p><p>“Perhaps your age is affecting you more than originally thought, Selea—have you forgotten that I do not believe in coincidence?”</p><p>She paused from her tinkering and looked across the room at him where he stood, bent over some new automaton he was working on.  First she was taken aback by his humor—he always slipped it in when she least expected it, much to her delight. But then the gravity of his statement hit her even harder. “Sil, are you saying that you would go there <em>because</em> I was there?”</p><p>He straightened himself, setting down the tool he’d held in his hand and interlacing his hands in front of him as he gazed across the room at her. “Indeed.”</p><p>She smiled. After one hundred and twenty eight years, he still could surprise her. She swallowed slowly and stood. If only her long life kept her from getting stiff joints when she sat for long periods of time. She started to walk across the room, and he did the same. They met near the middle, only about a foot separating them. She craned her neck to look up at him till he, as he had become in the practice of doing, levitated her to look him in the eye as they discussed some topic while standing eye to eye. She’d become accustomed to it, and added her thoughts on the matter. “Grow old together, hmm? Allow old age to overtake us in some villa along the shores of Artaeum? Tinkering away till we fall into eternal slumber sitting at our workbenches?”</p><p>“I do not find the thought unpleasant, do you?”</p><p>“No, I do not,” she said quietly.</p><p>Another sigh. She determined that Sil was feeling particularly pensive today—something he rarely gave himself the benefit of, and only ever when he was in her presence. “As I said, however, there are many paths, and one does not know which one you will end up on.”</p><p>“But it is nice to consider the more pleasant paths one might end up on, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I cannot afford myself the opportunity to do it often. But here, with you, in the safety of the Observatory—yes, it is… nice.”</p><p>She smiled. Sil had indeed lived up to her request all those years ago when she invited him to stay for dinner on the evening he’d gifted her with the Observatory as her new home. She asked him to be real with her, to not put on pretense or be something he didn’t wish to be for her sake. Over time, on occasion, he’d reveal something about himself—a desire, a regret—he didn’t hold on to those too long, as typically he’d stored away any memory that could cause such feeling and emotion so that they didn’t muddle his thoughts as he had to consider everyone else.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One day, Selea sat in a comfortable chair near the window of gigantic round observatory window. Sil stood nearby, hands clasped behind his back. He’d been staring out the window for ages and she knew his mind was elsewhere. He’d been this way for weeks. Duke would announce his arrival, she would acknowledge and allow his entrance, he’d appear, and after brief conversation, he’d disappear into his thoughts. He often referred to these times as the solitude she’d once discussed.</p><p>“I appreciate your version of solitude now more than ever, Selea. To be alone… together.”</p><p>And so she didn’t push him any more than she ever had. But she had to be honest with herself that ever since their conversation about the possibility of a path that led to them spending the rest of their days together on Artaeum as mortals, she found these moments more concerning. And so, she’d come to a decision.</p><p>“I believe I am ready, Sil.”</p><p>“Ready? For what?”</p><p>She stood and approached him. He turned and looked down at her. The fact that he didn’t levitate her to his height told her he was distracted. “Ready for you to tell me, to show me, what has been going on out there in the world.</p><p>He frowned. “Are you certain?”</p><p>She nodded. “I wish to share some of your burden, Sil. The only way to do that is to know what the burden is.”</p><p>He shook his head. “The burden is mine to carry, Selea. But thank you for your thoughtfulness.”</p><p>“Indeed, it is yours to carry. But that does not change the fact that I want to help.” She took the chance to rest a comforting hand on his flesh arm. “Will you let me help you? If only by being the one other person in existence that knows of what you are considering?”</p><p>He sighed. “It would be easier to show you than explain with words.”</p><p>She nodded. “I expected as much. You have trained me for mental communication and transfer of information, please do.”</p><p>He raised his hands into the air. “Are you certain?”</p><p>She nodded, looking him in the eyes and raising her own hands so that their fingertips were almost touching. “I am.”</p><p>“Very well.”</p><p>As she closed her eyes and visions began to flow through her mind she heard his voice in her head. “I am considering my death at the hands of Amalexia. I have forseen it through all of time since my ascension and gifting with these powers. But as the time draws closer and the number of possible paths grows fewer, the picture becomes clearer.”</p><p>“I want to see it.”</p><p>“I cannot show you all the paths, it is too much for your mind to bear, Selea.”</p><p>“Then show me what you can, as much as you can. Let me bear the burden with you, Sil.”</p><p>He felt her fingertips touch his—a successful attempt at showing comfort. As the images flashed through her mind, she was overcome with a sense of dread. The last image she saw before the world faded around her into black was Sil… <em>her beloved Sil</em>… hanging dead in the Cognitum Centralis.</p><p>When she awoke, she was lying in her bed. She immediately sensed his presence and opened her eyes to find him sitting in a chair across the room, elbows on the arms of the chair, the fingertips of each hand touching each other with his hand steepled. He spoke first, then opened his eyes. “You are awake. Good. I’m afraid I may have overwhelmed you with too many images. You lost consciousness. I apologize.”</p><p>She stared up at the ceiling. “Don’t. You didn’t do anything I didn’t ask for.”</p><p>“You musn’t worry over what you saw. I cannot. There is nothing to be done about what is coming.”</p><p>“I’m afraid you and I must have a difference of opinion on this matter, Sil.”</p><p>“You never did believe in the impossible, did you?” he asked.</p><p>“I’ve beaten the odds and overcome the impossible enough times that the concept holds very little meaning for me anymore.”</p><p>“Fair.”</p><p>“I’m going to figure out a way to save you, Sil.”</p><p>“We are all bound by our nature, Selea.” He paused for a beat. “I would not attempt to stop you.”</p><p>She sat up and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. “And how would you describe my nature, Sil?”</p><p>“Persistent. Unwavering. Determined. Fixated…”</p><p>“I get the point. And so should you. I don’t give up easily.”</p><p>“So I’ve noticed.” There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “I heard your last thoughts… before you blacked out.”</p><p>She frowned, trying to remember what her last thoughts were. All she could remember was the image of his dead, mangled body. “I can’t even remember my last thoughts very clearly. I only remember the images.”</p><p>He stood slowly and approached. She looked up at him, even several feet away he towered over her. “My beloved Sil,” he whispered.</p><p>She immediately blushed and looked down at her knees. “Oh.”</p><p>“Do not be embarrassed. I have always sought your honesty, Selea.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“We have spent much time together.”</p><p>“We have.”</p><p>“I only mentioned it because I thought you should know…”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I am not opposed to the term of endearment—from you.”</p><p>She glanced up several times before raising her head to look at him more clearly. “Oh.”</p><p>He nodded. “If you are feeling well, I must go.”</p><p>She nodded, and he was gone.</p><p>*****</p><p>It was only on the rarest of occasions that Selea had Duke communicate a message to Sil. Normally she waited for him to communicate with her, knowing that his time was spent on much greater things than hers. But this time, she had to. Because she had come up with a plan.</p><p>She was pacing across the Observatory when Duke flew in. “My lord and creator Sotha Sil requests entry.”</p><p>“Granted.”</p><p>Sil appeared in front of her. “What requires such urgency that you sent Duke squawking into my ear while I studied?”</p><p>“I figured it out.”</p><p>“Figured what out?”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Really? For a not-god with omniscience you sure do miss things sometimes.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>“I figured out how to save you.”</p><p>He paused, blinked, and nodded. “Very well, I will consider your thoughts.”</p><p>She shook her head. “Not yet. First, I need to know something.”</p><p>“Very well. What?”</p><p>“Once we stood in this very room and considered the paths that lie ahead. We considered one path in particular. I need to know if you would still find that path… acceptable.”</p><p>“You are referring to Artaeum.”</p><p>“I am referring to Artaeum,” she confirmed with a nod. “Together.”</p><p>He nodded. “Yes.”</p><p>“Yes, you understand the path I am referring to, or yes you find that path acceptable.”</p><p>He nodded again. “Yes, I find that path <em>highly</em> satisfactory.”</p><p>She smiled. “Very well.” She raised her hands in preparation. The action on both their parts wasn’t at all necessary for his mental connection with her, but when he had first trained her in some mental telepathy work, she had joked that it should really include some physical sign of interaction and suggested the act. Ever since it had been their practice.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Everything is prepared. As soon as Amalexia kills me—”</p><p>“You mean the fake you.”</p><p>“Yes, yes—as soon as the act is complete, the City will begin lockdown procedures. My link will be severed with the City and I will transport us to Artaeum.”</p><p>Sotha Sil was bent over a desk reviewing plans. He’d gone over them countless times before and had them memorized, but even the ‘god’ seemed to be showing signs of nervousness.</p><p>“You’re worried.”</p><p>“Everything will go according to plan.”</p><p>“I don’t mean about the plan. I know everything will go according to plan. But it’s the result of the plan you are concerned about. Your beloved city. I’m so sorry, Sil, that you have to leave it behind. I-I didn’t anticipate that factor when I created the basic idea of this whole endeavor. I—I suppose I’ve grown selfish in my time here—I’ve forgotten what it is like to consider others above myself. I didn’t think about the—”</p><p>“Selea,” he said as he turned and faced her.</p><p>She’d stopped pacing and had collapsed into a chair, shoulders sagging. She suddenly felt guilty for all she was asking Sotha Sil to do. Separating himself from all he’d known, all he’d been. He’d retain his powers, at least for the time. At some point they both had a feeling he’d lose his divine powers once Amalexia had her way with the ancient ruins that had originally started the Tribunal on their path.</p><p>She was deep into her thoughts when she suddenly saw a familiar white robe in front of her. He knelt down in front of her. “Selea, you are a remarkable being. You are a powerful mage, a wise friend, and my closest confidant. You are… <em>my other</em>. But do not think for a moment that you have somehow convinced me to do something that I did not see as path necessary to go down. No matter what, it is time for me to die. It will either be me in that room to be ravaged by Amalexia’s powers, or the counterfeit we created. What you did was create an alternative that allows me more time to exist before my true end.”</p><p>“But without your people, your City, without your purpose…”</p><p>“What good would I be to my people, and my city if I allowed Amalexia to kill me?”</p><p>“I should have been coming up with a plan for how to defeat her <em>and</em> change the path all together. I was selfish, Sil! I wanted…” She stopped herself as tears welled up in her eyes.</p><p>Rarely had he ever touched her. The bond that had formed between them had been a connection of minds, intelligence, and emotions, as it were—as much as it was for Sotha Sil and his different way of showing emotions. His metal hand reached and a finger tipped her chin up to look at him. “What is it you wanted, Selea. Tell me.”</p><p>“You know, Sil. You know what it is I want. More than anything. Artaeum—it was <em>my</em> idea.”</p><p>“And I agreed with it. If you remember, I inferred that if I was to leave this City, to become mortal, I wanted to go where ever you were, Selea. You did not somehow implant that idea in my head.”</p><p>“But perhaps I did, Sil. Causality. I came back to Clockwork City. I placed myself back in your reality. My action, and these are the consequences.”</p><p>“Amalexia coming here to kill me is the consequence of an action that occurred long before you were even born, Selea. And as I recall, it was I who had you meet me here, at the Observatory. You were right, you know—offering you this place was rather significant. And intentional. I knew that it was what had to be and I saw no reason to change the course.”</p><p>“And I invited you to dinner.”</p><p>“And you told me I could leave. I stayed. And I came back. I kept coming back. Do you know why I remember all that so vividly, Selea? Because I refused to release those memories to the Mnemonic Planisphere. What I am is a result of a decision to store away memories that I felt would keep me from performing the purpose I was destined for. But by the third time you stepped back into my personal reality, I couldn’t bring myself to release any of it. I calculate that you have made me better. I cannot choose any other path than this, Selea, because you are my destiny now. Actions, consequences, causality—it’s a tangled web that is woven not just by one individual making choices. This path is one that has been created by a tangled web of past choices, some in our pasts, before we met, that neither of us are proud of. But here we are, and here we go. We haven’t much more time, Selea. Will you come and stand with me as I give the final command?”</p><p>She swallowed hard and blinked at him, touched by his speech. He’d chosen her, chosen to keep her in his mind. Every time he returned to the Observatory to visit her, it had been a conscious decision to keep her in his ‘personal reality’ as he called it.</p><p>He stood and held out his still flesh hand. It was an act he’d never done before, to offer his hand, but one that seemed to come so natural. “Sil,” she whispered as she took his hand and stood. He laced his fingers with hers and led them over to a console. He spoke a series of commands and released her hand.</p><p>“I’ll need to take control of the Imitator one last time to make this real. Be at the ready.”</p><p>Moments later his body was flung back from where he’d stood.</p><p>“Sil!” she shouted as she ran to him. He was already picking himself up off the floor.</p><p>“I am… alright.”</p><p>Just then an announcement seemed to come from every corner of the City. “Our lord and creator, Sotha Sil, has left this plane of existence. The Clockwork City remains protected for it’s citizens. Please join in a moment of silence.”</p><p>“Stand close, Selea. It is time.”</p><p>She came to stand toe to toe with him and rested her hands on his chest. Within seconds bright light surrounded her. When it faded they were standing in the center of the Psijic Villa on Artaeum. It would be their new home. Sotha Sil had made the arrangements with the Order not long after they’d decided to set their plan in motion. There would be no disturbances for the pair, and they would live out whatever was to be the rest of their lives tinkering in a different way at the Villa.</p><p>Selea hadn’t realized she had rested her head on his chest until it rumbled with his speech. “Selea.”</p><p>She was almost afraid to move now that she was here. “Hmm?”</p><p>“May I—may I make physical contact with you as well?”</p><p>She chuckled. “I didn’t ask <em>you</em> for permission.”</p><p>“I did tell you to get close.”</p><p>“Was this what you had in mind?”</p><p>“Not exactly. But, you have not answered my question.”</p><p>She sighed. “Hold me, Sil. I give you permission.”</p><p>His arms wrapped around her waist and she felt his chest rise and fall, felt his breath on her forehead.</p><p>“Sil, you don’t have to ask for permission for physical contact.”</p><p>“I do not want to encroach on your space. Your body is yours to do with as you see fit.”</p><p> “If I am already snuggled up with you, I think you can consider that unspoken permission, alright?”</p><p>“Very well.” She then felt his lips place a gentle kiss on her forehead.</p><p>She inhaled quickly.“I never expected you to be this…this way.”</p><p>“Is this not what you want?”</p><p>“It’s not just about what I want, Sil. You shouldn’t be physically affectionate just because it’s what I want.”</p><p>“How many times have I told you, Selea? I have a disease of certainty. If I was not certain that this was the action I wanted to take, I would not be taking it.”</p><p>“I wish I could be that certain. But what of the people your action effects?”</p><p>“As you said, based on your actions, I felt certain you wished for me to take that action as well.”</p><p>“Yet you still asked.”</p><p>“You still deserve a choice, even if I am certain of your desire. You wish you could be so certain, I wish I could afford to doubt.”</p><p>“Do you think that now… that you might be able to? You were acting like a god because that’s what the people needed. The people think you are dead and now you act for yourself, not for them, Sotha Sil.” She looked up into his eyes. “You could act on something now, even if you are uncertain of its outcome.”</p><p>“Then I shall start with this,” he said before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her lips that lasted for a few moments.</p><p>She’d been holding her breath and so when he pulled back she gasped to take in breath. Then she saw something in his eyes she’d never seen before. A question. “Sil… you kissed me.”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“What were you uncertain of? Your own desire to do it, or my desire to have you do it? Were you uncertain of what my reaction would be?”</p><p>“There was no question of my desire to do it. The doubt was in whether or not you would appreciate such action.”</p><p>“Perhaps I can resolve your doubt,” she said with a small smile as she went up on her tiptoes and returned his kiss.</p><p>When they stopped, she rested her head back on his chest. “Sil, I did not anticipate this. I may have dreamed about it. But never did I imagine. At least not this quickly. I had thought perhaps that in time you might… we might… but we’ve been here less than five minutes and you’ve kissed me. I imagined that perhaps it might be later, after Amalexia does whatever her foul plan is for the remaining artifacts. Or perhaps after you’d grown more accustom to this way of life.”</p><p>“I am concerned by the doubt you felt in our last moments in Clockwork City. You must know now, Selea, that my choice to be here with you came not just from a long considered and well thought out decision, but also because my heart would not let me do otherwise.”</p><p>“You rarely talk of your heart, Sil.”</p><p>“I rarely allowed it to be a part of the equation. I couldn’t afford for it to be. Not before. Now—while the weight of loss of my people and my City <em>does</em> weigh on me. I also find a lightness, a relief, brought by the knowledge that I can perhaps allow myself this one thing, this moment in time, with you, unfettered by the chains of causality.”</p><p>“Vivec may be the poet—but you know how to spin words to make my heart rejoice, Sotha Sil.”</p><p>“Before you, there were no other hearts worthy of it. I have made so many mistakes in my lifetime, Selea, I don’t deserve you. But you deserve happiness, and if I can bring it to you, I will continue to do so, until my time is over.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Selea.”</p><p>She smiled. He had gotten into the habit of calling out her name before he began speaking, as if there was someone else he might be speaking to.</p><p>“Yes, Sil?”</p><p>“How would you feel about a visitor?”</p><p>She frowned and looked up from her book to find him bent over his workbench. “A visitor? Who would be visiting us? There’s only two people on the planet who know we even exist.”</p><p>He finally stood straight and turned to address her. “Yes, and one of them wants to come see you.”</p><p>She stood and approached him. “Who?”</p><p>“The Ritemaster of the Psijic Order.”</p><p>She shook her head. “Sil, you can’t possibly be suggesting I let them talk me into… into doing something for them. I haven’t used my magic in battle in over a hundred years. I—I can’t—”</p><p>His hands gently rested on her arms. “Selea, please.”</p><p>She stopped ranting, though tears were in her eyes and panic had welled up in her chest.</p><p>“Selea, I would never ask such a thing of you. And neither would they. It is an old friend of yours—Valsirenn.”</p><p>Selea’s eyes went wide. “Val—Valsirenn is the Ritemaster now? Still? Why—I never considered she might still be alive and—well I suppose that’s different. You’re certain she’s not going to ask something of me?”</p><p>“I made it clear to her during negotiations for the Villa that you were no longer traveling and no longer performing tasks for hire or otherwise.”</p><p>“Another words, you told her my adventuring days were over.”</p><p>“In a manner of speaking, yes.”</p><p>She took a deep breath. “Sil, other than the citizens of Clockwork, you are the only soul I’ve seen in so long. What if I’ve forgotten how to interact?”</p><p>A small smile creased the edge of his lips. “That is a ridiculous notion. You perform admirably interacting with me—and if you can manage that feat, you will do fine with Valsirenn.”</p><p>“Alright. Very well. She will come here?”</p><p>“Of course. I will see to it and let you know when she will be coming.”</p><p>She nodded and chewed at her lip nervously.</p><p>He rested his palm on her cheek and brushed his thumb along it. “Think nothing more of it until the arrangements are made.”</p><p>She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and nodded again. “I’ll try.”</p><p>“Very good. Now, while I finish up my work, will you tell me about your research?” He said with a nod towards the book she had in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>****</p><p> </p><p>“Selea!”</p><p>Seeing the woman washed away all Selea’s nervousness. “Val!” she said as the woman approached quickly to embrace her.</p><p>“It is so good to see you again, friend. You can’t begin to imagine the surprise I felt with Lord Seht informed me of his desire to purchase the Psijic Villa for he and his companion, much less when he said that <em>you</em> were that companion!”</p><p>“So many years, Val, so many years have passed. Come, walk with me through the gardens and let’s chat.”</p><p>Soon they were walking around the beautiful gardens of the Villa. “I felt as if I had nowhere else to go, Val. I loved it here, but it was so soon after battling the three Princes, and after losing such a good friend—Darien. I was at the end of my rope.”</p><p>“And you went back to Lord Seht’s city.”</p><p>“I did. A place out of space and time… it seemed my best option for hiding away.”</p><p>“It certainly worked. Rumors spread far and wide of your demise. Varying stories were told. The legends live on though, of the great work you did for all of Tamriel. You are missed, my friend. But I think I do understand your motivation. What did you do all those years?”</p><p>“I created and invented instead of destroying and fighting. I explored ideas instead of dungeons. I fought against the demons in my mind instead of the demons of Coldharbour. And I spent quite a great deal of time conversing and at times arguing with Sotha Sil over various ideas and facts and projects that we worked on together.”</p><p>“So… you and Sotha Sil,” the woman said as they looked across the garden at the elf in question who was knelt down working on a small mechanical device he’d been tinkering with to help with the gardening.</p><p>“We are… companions… as he said.”</p><p>“What exactly does that mean?”</p><p>“It means we have chosen to spend the rest of our days in each other’s company. It means that I trust him above all others.”</p><p>“Do you love him?”</p><p>Selea blinked and looked across the garden to him. “Love? Yes, I suppose I do.”</p><p>“And him—does he feel the same way?”</p><p>“The same? Oh, I don’t know. I know he appreciates me, cares deeply about me. I know he actively chooses to be here with me when at any moment, if he wanted, he could attempt to return to the people of his city or of Nirn and present himself as a god once again. But he doesn’t. He stays. I can’t speak for him, however, I would say, he acts as if he does.”</p><p>“Well, my friend, I should be going. I only wanted to stop by and check on you, catch up with you.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Val, that I seem to have monopolized our conversation. I didn’t ask at all how you are doing. Will you come back to visit?”</p><p>Val smiled. “I would like that, yes. I’ll leave word in Lord Seht’s office when I have an opportunity to visit again.”</p><p>“Thank you, Val, for visiting.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That evening at dinner Sil and Selea sat quietly across from each other. It wasn’t abnormal for them. They’d both grown accustomed to it in the City. Another one of their acts of ‘solitude’ - being together yet alone. Giving each other space to think while still enjoying the company of the other.</p><p>She was deep in thought about her conversation with Val when he spoke up.</p><p>“So you enjoyed your visit?”</p><p>“I did. I was just thinking about it. It was nice.”</p><p>“Do you miss the company of others?”</p><p>“What exactly are you asking, Sil?”</p><p>“There is no other meaning behind the words than the one they present. Do you miss keeping company with others?”</p><p>“Others—other than you, you mean. No. I mean, it was nice to visit with Val. And perhaps it says something about what a hermit I’ve become, but after years of traveling around in caravans and on ships and constant company of others—no, I don’t think I miss it.”</p><p>He nodded and continued to eat. They were both deep into thought and their own meals again when he spoke again. “It has been many, many years since I expressed my love towards anyone, in words at least.”</p><p>She put down her fork. “You were listening to my conversation with Val.”</p><p>“I regret overhearing, only because it became a private matter very quickly, and because I am sure that makes you uncomfortable. But at the same time I do not regret overhearing, because it revealed a truth to me I had not discovered on my own.”</p><p>“That I—that I love you?”</p><p>“No—that <em>I</em> love you.”</p><p>“Wh-what?”</p><p>“I love you, Selea. And I regret that I had not said those words to you before. While your answer was beautiful and expressed the amount of care I do have for you and the decision I have made to be here with you. I’m glad you see in my actions how much I care. But I regret that you were not able to first say a confident ‘yes’ when asked such a question of our relationship. I have failed in that regard, but no more.”</p><p>“Well—I—I’m not sure what to say. Other than—I love you, too, Sil.”</p><p>“I am happy to spend the rest of my days with you, Selea.”</p><p>She smiled. “As am I.”</p><p>****</p><p>The next morning Selea was walking down the hallway from her room and glanced into the open doorway of Sil’s room to find him staring at several sets of clothing laid out on his bed. He wore his robes, as always. She knew that because of the powers he still held, he didn’t need to sleep and rarely made use of the bed, or the room, so she was surprised to find him in it at all, much less doing something so—mundane.</p><p>“Sil?”</p><p>He turned, a perplexed stare on his face. “How does one choose the most appropriate clothing when either of two choices would be adequate for ones needs?”</p><p>She chuckled. “Sil, you have <em>never</em> worn anything other than your white robes with your blue sash. Not a single day in the time I’ve known you. What could possibly be making you reconsider that now?”</p><p>He frowned and looked down at the robes, waving his hand towards what she now recognized as dirt stains on the front where she guessed his knees were.</p><p>She held back a chuckle. “Sil, you have worked with oily machines and around dirt for quite some time, I am certain you have gotten stains on your robes before. I would imagine you just blinked them out of existence. What stops you now?”</p><p>He interlaced his fingers in front of him. “I no longer find such action adequate. While I may still contain the power to do such things, I no longer find it satisfactory to do those things unless necessary. It feels like a flagrant use of powers that I, in many ways, am actively choosing to reject. How can I reject my godhood, declare a completion to the greater purpose of my divine powers, and yet still use them to clean up stains? If I am seeking to live a more mundane and mortal life, then I should start acting like it.”</p><p>Selea blinked, a bit shocked at his sudden declaration. He’d never outright spoken his deeper thoughts in such a way.</p><p>“So, I ask again, how does one choose when either of your choices would be adequate?”</p><p>“Based on preference I suppose.”</p><p>“I haven’t had to consider a preference for clothing in near a millennium, how would I make that choice now? No, instead, I think that you should choose.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yes, you are the one who will see me in the clothing, so you choose something you prefer.”</p><p>She looked back down at the clothing. “Where did you get these?”</p><p>He sighed. “Equally frustrating. With no source for clothing within the Villa, I considered what I had seen citizens of Clockwork City wearing before we left.”</p><p>She shook her head and smiled. “And blinked them into existence.”</p><p>“Essentially, yes.”</p><p>“If you truly do want to do this the ‘mundane’ and ‘mortal’ way, then let me take care of it. I’ll make you something.”</p><p>“You will?”</p><p>“Of course. These choices aren’t appropriate for you, in style or color. Would they be adequate, yes. But not flattering or appropriate when considered in terms of your being a Dark Elf, being as incredibly tall as you are, or the work you prefer. No, these will not do. Snap them right back out of existence and leave it to me. I have every material imaginable downstairs in my workshop and a clothing station that I haven’t had the chance to use since we arrived. I’ll give you some options to choose from, and you can try them on in private. You might be surprised to find that you really do have a style preference once you try something on.”</p><p>He reached out and took her hand firmly in his, tugging her closer. She allowed him to pull her all the way in to his arms and held her close, his metal hand holding her head close to his chest. “The deep love and care you show for me every day is astounding, Selea. Thank you.”</p><p>“You may change your mind when you see the clothes I tailor.” He let out a single chuckle that made her smile. It was so rare that such emotions bubbled to the surface for Sil, and to be the one to cause it made her elated. She pulled back a bit and tugged at the collar of her own jerkin. “It’s been a while since I tried my hand at tailoring. Now that I think about it though, the idea excites me. It’s been some time since I made myself anything, either.”</p><p>He gave her a small smile. “I will await your work with much anticipation.”</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning at breakfast, Selea gave Sil strict orders not to peek into her workshop while she went to work on the items she’d discussed with him the day prior. It was past dinner time when she finally emerged. When  Sil looked up from the book he’d been reading in his seat of the pair of oversized highback chairs by the fireplace, she smiled wide.</p><p>“You’re finally done? You were locked up in there all day. I wondered if perhaps your needle and thread had fought back after being neglected for so long and I would have to come to your rescue.”</p><p>She chuckled and came to rest a hand on his shoulder, leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek. “No need, I sung them a song and lulled them back into submission.”</p><p>“And? How did it go?” he asked as she took the few steps over to her chair.</p><p>“Very well. Your things are in a basket by that bed in your room that you never use. Perhaps in the morning you can try them on. There’s nothing to say that you have to settle on one style or another—you can always try different things for a while until you settle on what you like best.”</p><p>“And in all your thoughtfulness for my clothing quandary, did you take time to make something for yourself?”</p><p>She grinned and stretched. “Oh yes. But it’s a surprise.”</p><p>“Well, that sounds intriguing.”</p><p>“Good.” She took a deep breath and stretched. “I’m exhausted. I should get some sleep.”</p><p>“Indeed you should. May I walk you to your room?”</p><p>She smiled. “Of course.”</p><p>They stood and she looped her arm around his as they began to walk. It wasn’t a far walk, but she found it endearing that he wanted to spend those last moments with her before she retired for the evening. “I had the strangest feeling today.”</p><p>“Oh? What’s that?” she asked.</p><p>“I missed you. Which is ridiculous because you were in the same house and so very close, but just knowing I couldn’t go in the room and be with you seemed to drive me to distraction.”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I missed being able to converse with you while I worked. Next time it won’t be that way, I just wanted it to be a surprise this time what I put together for you, and for me.”</p><p>“Good night, Selea. Till morning, then.”</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Selea found her way down the hall to Sotha Sil’s bedroom. The door was cracked open and she knocked on it.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>She pushed the door the rest of the way open and was taken aback by what she saw. There standing before a mirror with his back to her was Sil. But she couldn’t believe what a difference the outfit he’d chosen made. Instead of a robe he chose the jack and leggings. It showed off his long legs and long torso, both of which made him the tall creature he was. He was still barefoot—not a surprise to her. She wouldn’t want to put shoes on if she’d been barefoot as long as he had either. But something about seeing him in the more form fitting clothes took her breath away.</p><p>He hadn’t seen her yet—his own body blocked his view of her through the mirror.</p><p>“Good morning,” she said. “How do you like your new clothes? I see you chose the—” She stopped when he turned towards her and his eyes went a bit wide. “What?” She glanced down. “Oh—do you not like it? I could—”</p><p>“I am sorry, Selea. I—you misunderstand my facial expression.” He said as he stepped towards her. Once directly in front of her he reached for her hand and held it up to his lips. “You are… beautiful.”</p><p>She blushed as he looked over her again. “This color reminded me of the color of your sash you wore with your robes. I suppose it was a bit sentimental to choose the color based on that.”</p><p>“It pleases me that in matters that might be considered mundane, I come to your mind. It is the same with you, for me. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I considered that the shade of green of this tunic reminded me of your eyes.”</p><p>Her heart thought it might burst. “I don’t know if I’ll ever grow accustomed to such sweet words from you, Sil. They make my heart so happy.”</p><p>“As do yours, me.” He said as he gazed down at her. After a moment he took a step back and held his arms out. “What is your opinion of this combination of clothing?”</p><p>“I think you look dashing. It’s quite shocking to see you in something other than your white robe. It will take getting used to, but it is certainly not unpleasant. And my dress?”</p><p>“I believe I made my opinion of your dress quite clear,” he said, a small smile on his face.</p><p>*****</p><p>Sil was out in his garden. Since they’d come to the Psijic Villa, he’d come to love spending time there. He’d found an interest in studying the plants that were already growing there, as well as having new ones brought in to add to it. Cecila sat on the veranda, leaned back and reading a book. She was so deeply involved, she hadn’t realized he’d approached till she heard her name.</p><p>“Se-Selea,” he gasped.</p><p>Her head jerked up. She’d never heard his voice sound so… weak. Shock immediately registered on her face as she jumped up and ran to him, “Sil, what’s wrong? What is it? Come, sit down.”</p><p>She slid herself to his side and worked her arm around his waist. He put his arm on her shoulder and leaned into her as she walked him the few remaining steps to the couch she’d been stretched out on.</p><p>He eased himself down onto the seat and she sat close beside him, eyeing him carefully and full of concern.</p><p>“I… I think it’s done. I think… Alma…lexia… she’s… she’s done it.” He gasped out as he worked to breathe.</p><p>“You mean, you’re—”</p><p>“Mortal. Yes.”</p><p>“Are you alright? Are you—” She couldn’t bring herself to finish her thought.</p><p>“Dying? No. I don’t think so. Well, not just this moment. We’ve discussed before—we are all dying. I just… had the breath knocked out of me, as it were.”</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later that evening, Selea stood on the balcony off her bedroom. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to the wind blowing through the trees, the water lapping at the shore. She missed the Observatory, the Clockwork City, and for the briefest of moments, it’s creator. But as she heard the door close behind her she smiled just before she felt his one metallic and one flesh arm wrap around her waist.</p><p>“All secure?” she said with a detectable sigh.</p><p>“Your reaction gives away that you are less than pleased with my desire to ensure our continued safety,” he said in a smooth, monotone, and singular voice. The ‘echo’ had disappeared along with his powers. She found his own voice to be beautiful.</p><p>“I understand it. I appreciate it. At the moment however,” she said as she snuggled into him. “I appreciate this even more.”</p><p>“Indeed,” he stated.</p><p>She chuckled. “Indeed.” She turned in his embrace and looked up at him. He’d stopped wearing his helmet soon after they’d come to Artaeum, and she still loved seeing his whole face, loved his long white hair. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“About being mortal?” He sighed. “Everything is different now. The way I feel things, sense things, process things. It was most disconcerting at first to suddenly not be able to sense the life around me. To not… know. I’m still… me… but I already sense the change occurring within me. Control is no longer within my grasp, and my first concern is that I can no longer keep you safe, Selea. I know—Artaeum is safe, and Valsarenn would let us know at the first sign of trouble. But, I am grasping for control where I can find it. And ensuring the outer doors of the Villa are secure before retiring for the evening is one simplistic way I can feel as though I am still protecting you. I was once able to offer you a security that I was certain of. My certainty has been taken away. I once envied the ability to doubt. Now, I despise it.”</p><p>“Mortality and Immortality have equal struggles, though one always envies the other.”</p><p>“Precisely. And I feel inadequate in what I offer you now, Selea. I can no longer offer you the security and safety I once did.”</p><p>“Perhaps not. But do you know what type of safety and security you now offer?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“This,” she said as she squeezed his waist tighter. “Your arms. From that moment after you first transported us to Artaeum, you put your arms around me and held me. Ever since then I have felt a different type of safety.”</p><p>He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, taking in a deep breath. “I find it quite comforting as well.”</p><p>“Good. So… retiring for the night. Does it feel terribly odd to feel tired for the first time in—however long?”</p><p>“Just one of the many disconcerting feelings I am processing.”</p><p>“And this… this is how you wish to spend your evening of rest, of sleep?”</p><p>“With you?” She nodded, and he returned the gesture. “I am familiar with sleeping for one, perhaps two hours at a time. It was all that was needed on occasion. I find the thought of attempting to sleep for an extended period of time without you in my presence to be… disturbing.” He leaned back and looked at her carefully. “I apologize for being so needy of your attention during this time, Selea.”</p><p>“Sil,” she said softly, reaching up to rest her palm against his cheek. “I promised you the rest of my life, didn’t I?”</p><p>He nodded, “As did I, you. I believe your words were, ‘“Grow old together. Allow old age to overtake us in some villa along the shores of Artaeum. Tinkering away till we fall into eternal slumber sitting at our workbenches.”</p><p>“Even in your mortality, you still quote my words from years ago.”</p><p>“They were precious words to me, Selea, even then when I perhaps couldn’t grasp how to return the gesture.”</p><p>“Sil,” she said with a sigh. “It would be my honor to be by your side in the night as well as in the day, <em>my beloved Sil</em>.”</p><p>He smiled at her use of the endearment he’d first heard her use in his thoughts, when he’d showed her his possible death to Amalexia. And so, he took her hand and led her back into the house where they would grow old. Together.</p>
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